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Unfortunately I can't take credit for "begin again" -- it's something I learned from Courtney Wyckoff, founder of my beloved online HIIT program, MommaStrong (which isn't just for mamas!) If it wasn't for me hearing her talk about beginning again 1000 times over the past six years, I'm not sure it would have sunk in.

For me, "begin again" is flexible and applies in whatever way we presently need it: begin again on this thing that's vexing me. Begin again after taking time away from a regular practice. Begin again after failing. Begin again during the witching hour when all things children and family life are going to hell. Begin again in any moment, for any reason, at your own discretion.

It's a beautiful concept and one that has taught me a lot.

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I shall continue to give you credit as the person who brought this idea to me :) This is SO interesting! In a broad concept: This is the same as 'just keep going' or 'keep going' or 'don't stop'. EXCEPT that this sort of implies that it's actually ok to stop and/or realize you have stopped and then choose to start again. I think the pause allows to rethink mindfully 'how do I want to start at this again' and 'do I need to change my approach to how I re-start'. And (maybe) leaves critical space to decide "do I actually need to restart this or is this actually something would better for me to stop (aka, not keep going with). This sort of implies that you can stop pushing the rock up the hill and not worry so much it's going to roll back down and crush you. It's okay to stop because you can just start again. (This is coming from a person who has both had trouble starting lately, but also a continual fear of 'stopping' because I'm afraid I will never start again". Also LOLd at "during the witching hour when all things children and family life are going to hell". Thank you so much for always sharing so kindly and candidly. Appreciate you 💯💖

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I appreciate these questions so much! From a TRE / somatics perspective, I would answer the question "how hard are we supposed to work" with another question: what is my body communicating / needing? And then I think the practice (for me anyway) is really tuning into the super subtle whispers ("mmm I think I could use a break") before my body has to scream it at me ("okay now I've injured myself because I pushed it too far for too long"). I think that goes for physical AND emotional projects / situations.

And and—what's so fascinating & frustrating & real about the body / nervous system is that it CHANGES. My capacity (physical, mental, emotional) isn't the same from day to day (or moment to moment sometimes) so I can't rely on past-me boundaries to inform what present me needs. Because things are in flux I actually have to PAUSE and then LISTEN and then REACT to right now. Which, gah, is hard. But learning TRE and getting to know my nervous system and practicing being more somatically minded has reallyyyyyy helped me on this journey.

Thanks for giving me this space to think about these questions!

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ASHLEY! Oh goodness this feels like a comforting exhale. And also perplexing because how does one do this in CAPITALISM! (And making myself ACTUALLY listen to those whispers instead of willfully ignoring them because of GO! GO! GO!). I think part of this is that I feel like I need a permission slip to actually honor those whispers inside, and the flipside of that means being willing to do / achieve / sign up for less. (And that is still something I am working on, deeply.) And, (I think I am going to do a newsletter on this) I think I want to do more bodywork to help heal by body this year - and TRE/somatics is on the list so I want to explore more more about your offerings. Thank you so much for sharing and addressing this question!

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Yes yes yes! TRE has taught me so much about how to honor those whispers ie: give myself the permission slip. So much of what I talk about with folks in those sessions is about how it's OKAY to take a break (in the context of a session that's taking a break from the shaking, but it ends up applying to lots of other things in life)—and in TRE land, unlike what we're taught in capitalism land, the breaks are actually sometimes where the "work" gets "done," if that makes sense.

I am alwayyyyys down to chat more about these things! Reach out anytime!

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Jan 30, 2023Liked by vanessa jean

I'm late to the party on this one, but the idea of begin has evolved into picking up the thread. A thread, even.

It's less pressure than beginning again. I'm all about less pressure these days.

(To answer your initial question, my body welcomes a surprising amount of physical labour, but not if I'm in a situation that's wrong for my nervous system. I ignore that at my peril. And (sigh) have done so too many times.)

So much wisdom in these comments. 💕🔥

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Ooohhhhh, this gives me lots to think about for nervous system v other body things (or integrated body things). And I LOVE the idea of a thread. That sounds nice (and light).

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I love this question, Vanessa. Mind if I take a stab at answering it in my next “Ask Helen” edition of ye olde newsletter?

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UM, I WOULD BE HONORED! I can't wait to read your response (and undoubtedly learn from it!!!!)

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